Jealousy
by Sasshi
Summary: Shinji, a shy 14-year old boy comprise the three pilots. What's unknown to even himself is his strong affection and feelings for both Rei and Asuka, along with them liking him also! Jealousy, envy, and hatred spread as they confront one another.


**Jealousy**

by Satosh1

A/N: The story is settled in episodes 9 and up, after the introductions of the characters Rei and Asuka have all been done. You might notice a little differentiation in episode detail and slight alterations to the character's personalities.

Reminders;

**Shinji Ikari**

A 14-year old boy whose father is the founder and commander of NERV. Reserved and scarred by his earlier childhood and lost of his mother.

**Asuka Langley Sohryu**

A cocky half-German Japanese girl with a fixation for Kaji. Her mother committed suicide by cause of insanity.

**Rei Ayanami**

An enigmatic figure with no history on her upbringing. She rarely speaks to anyone and is oddly quite affectionate with Commander Ikari.

**Commander Ikari aka Gendo Ikari**

Founder of NERV. His intentions are known only to a select few.

**Ryoji Kaji**

A smooth talker, ladies man, who was a former boyfriend of Misato and caretaker of Asuka.

**Misato Katsuragi**

Leads the Evangelion pilots with tactics and strategies.

**The Evangelion aka Units 00, 01, 02**

Biological beings that can only be piloted by 14-year old Eva pilots through control and mind.

**Toji Suzahara Kensuke Aida Hikari**

Students of the school.

**Pen Pen**

A cool warm-water penguin whom lives in Misato's apartment.

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Shinji is in his room asleep, resting from a full day's work on synchronization training within NERV. Rocking back and forth on his bed with a disturbed expression... he dreamt the oddest of dreams...

'I lived my life the same as others, though not as quite, or maybe never any different. It's hard whether or not to accept life, for mine wasn't always pleasant. I like to believe that I am living only to see the end. But not knowing what the end would be, I come back to the definitive of whether it's worth seeing. Is there an actual end, or is it infinite? Confusion is the manifestation of my thoughts.'

"..."

"...mmmmh..."

"...huh?"

The sun had only risen up at recent. Shinji woke up from a painful sleep, encountering a massive headache while so.

"...another uncomfortable dream..."

"...why do these dreams always appear..."

"...whenever I meet...Ayanami..."

Sluggishly pushing himself off the bed, he walked towards the door and unhurriedly slid it away only to see Pen Pen looking at him, with his cool and tranquil manner as always.

"Plurrrkk!!"

"Oh. Ohaiyo, Pen Pen."

Shinji bent down to pet the warm-watered specimen and then calmly stepped into the kitchen to do his usual household tasks and daily work.

Misato abruptly stepped out of her room, her scantily clothes as alluring as always. Tanned illustrious skin, lovely glistening legs... her abdomen elegantly showing and sumptuous breasts barely covered from her skimpy undershirt, she uttered a few words while scratching her stomach.

"Ohaiyo, gozai-masu..."

Walking in a sturdy strutting motion, she quickly reached for refreshment in the fridge and wolfed it all down.

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh YEAAAAH!!"

"Nothing like a cold refreshing can of beer to complete the morning!"

Shinji snickered. Uncomfortable with the way Misato dresses, along with her constant show of laziness, the feeling drastically altered into exasperation. He simply frowned at the sight not knowing how or what to say.

Cleaning up after and grabbing his bag, he stepped out of the apartment with a quiet goodbye. It left an endearing perplexity towards Misato who later whiffed it off shortly after engulfing additional refreshments.

Shinji quietly gawked at the ground below him, treading into the urban streets of Tokyo-3 all the while. The frequent dreams he had of philosophical and literary wordings were all he could think of, which led him to be further into his own thoughts and not his surroundings.

"These dreams are so confusing..."

While walking, he noticed a card on the ground in the middle of the streets. Picking it up, what could be easily recognizable was a serene portrait of Rei, monotone appearance and all. Her stunning, awestruck beauty and elegance easily mesmerized Shinji. Looking closer, he noticed it was her NERV authorization ID card.

A sudden sharp pain in his head caught him off guard while clutching at Rei's portrait. Shinji immediately dropped the card and crutched his head with a painful gesture. Slumping onto the concrete, he gradually closed his eyes and went into a deep, unwilling trance.

Depictions of a beautiful blue-haired girl bestowed his mind in an astounding rate. The images were vague, but in time became supplementary vivid and detailed. He recognized this person.

"...Ayanami..."

"...what is this..."

"...wait... I know this feeling... a feeling of... loneliness..."

"...it doesn't feel natural..."

"...Ayanami... are these your feelings...?"

The images drastically altered into scenes of serene, cerulean water. A single drop of what seems like a tear dropping on its lonesome, appeared in vivid detail. The sound of it echoed throughout the temple of his thoughts and mind. All Shinji could do was see and stare at these images, these visions of perplexity. Shinji was somehow trapped within a crevice of his own mind.

All of a sudden, he heard a distinctive, unfamiliar voice from afar. A feeling of warmth and love embodied him. Not being able to reach the tender voice in the distant, all he could do was listen.

Unknowingly to Shinji, it was a cocky, self-centered voice he should've recognized easily.

It was Asuka who was calling out, and she had seen the whole ordeal come to place from the beginning. Before, Asuka was in a local grocery store purchasing snacks for lunch. Stepping out, Asuka noticed a familiar figure out in the distance. Squinting a bit, she noticed it was none other than Shinji's backside, which she felt disgusted by recognizing him so easily. Feeling a little lonely but never admitting it, she ran towards Shinji for a casual walk together. About 2 to 3 yards behind Shinji, she noticed a strange "off" to Shinji's steps, wobbling and tilting as if he was going to fall. Sure enough he did, and Asuka was completely stunned at the sight. Running towards Shinji who was on the concrete face-up, she looked down with a worried expression.

Asuka crouched beside him to tend to any injuries he might've had. Placing Shinji's head tenderly onto her skirt and holding him in her arms, Asuka glanced at Shinji's bedridden face. Blushing a bright crimson red, she immediately turned away in an adorable shyness.

Unexpectedly a powerful urge, a tremendously strong affection for the cradled stillness seized her usual stubborn, Kaji-only composure. So strong that in that moment her mind had been completely flooded with the thoughts of love, marriage, and the vibrant colors of pink and purple to venerate and detail a stirring sensation.

Confused by the increasing flutter of emotions, her sense of judgment went loose. Asuka refused and struggled to resist. The thoughts became increasingly persuasive and she was once again turned.

A naughty contemplation came as she unwillingly glanced at Shinji again, noticeably focusing onto his whispering lips. Never having been able to kiss a boy before, or even doing so to her fixation Kaji, and to do so was particularly alluring.

Deciding whether or not she should indulge upon it, her temptations went wild pulling her towards and into an absolute submission. Wetting and puckering her lips and closing her eyes she shyly and gradually approached hers with his, eagerly awaiting a newfound emotion she had longed hoped to know and have.

Shinji came conscious afterwards, opening his eyes to see himself being tenderly cradled by Asuka who was a bit too close for his own comfort. Shinji opening his mouth to speak was stopped by the sudden approach of Asuka's lips. As you know it, both teenagers were locking lips and blushing a bright red all the same. Shinji's eyes were wide open. Asuka seemed to enjoy every second of it with a slight, noticeable smile. Shinji closed his eyes slowly, as if being seduced into the feeling. They both gave each other a modest, forbidden suction that feathered their affections immensely, and did this for what seemed like forever.

Finally let go of each other's lips after a few minutes, pulling back a few feet and looking at each other.

Asuka shouted in his notice;

"...Why were you kissing me you pervert!"

Shinji, now baffled, shouted in defense and pointing at himself;

"What? You were the one who kissed me!"

"Liar!" shouted Asuka. Quick to respond but a little timid, tried to come up with a valid excuse but nothing came to mind.

In Asuka's utter discomfiture and mixing of emotions, she beat Shinji sideways in a blaze of utter fury. In ten or so slaps Asuka finally stopped, leaving Shinji on the ground bruised and with red hand-marks all over his face.

"You... you stupid idiot!!"

Asuka then proceeded to run towards the school in total mortification, and unwilling to admit it to herself she felt an utter hate for Shinji. She convinced herself that Shinji was the cause and not herself.

Shinji couldn't comprehend why Asuka would out-and-out lie in front of his face and then run away. Rubbing his face in stinging pain, he simply wavered the thought for later.

It was obscure; an unclear exchange of affection for each of them, and not being emotionally mature enough to understand their feelings for one another they simply did what they would typically do in any other situation with one another.

Shinji had the means of following Asuka to school when he immediately remembered the card. Looking desperately for it before he lost sight of Asuka, he finally found it around the corner and pocketed it to ensure that it's given to its proper owner. But it was too late to reach Asuka as she had already distanced from his view. He simply walked towards the school alone.

Reaching the school and up to the classroom, everyone was in their seats, waiting for their teacher for a lesson on the history of the calamity of Antarctica and the devastation of the world.

Toji, Kensuke, Hikari and all the other usual classmates were present; Rei's desk being the only empty seat. Shinji on his desk, bored from the teacher's lectures, turned around to see and notice that Rei wasn't there. With a worried expression, he turned back to the teachers direction and lowered his head, thinking of Rei all the while. Asuka saw this and snickered. In all her jealousy, she threw her pencil at Shinji's head. Unusually, Shinji didn't flinch or even showed any resulting movement from the impact. This further ignited Asuka's jealous hatred, both for Rei and Shinji.

Toji saw every facet of this and already had a perfect remark to shout out. He reconsidered when further thinking of the situation, feeling that it would just raise Asuka's temper more than it already is. Subdued into his sympathy and regretting it a little, he snickered and slouched onto his seat.

It was after school. Shinji, setting his fingers onto the card while still in his shirt pocket and determined to return it, left the school in the direction of Rei's complex. Asuka followed at a careful distance.

The sun's radiance rests on the horizon and on opposite a lovely, glistening moon to substitute. Having been dusk, the city lights of Tokyo-3, sensing the darkness, illuminated the entire area in coordination with one another. It was a beautiful night to say the least, which reminded Shinji so much of Rei for reasons he couldn't comprehend. Asuka was following his tracks at a distance, huddling and clutching onto the corners of buildings and constantly peeking near Shinji. She noticed him approaching the complex where Rei lives and stealthily followed his trail.

Shinji stepped up to Rei's apartment door. He rang the bell a few times but was only answered with an unwelcome silence. He then knocked softly a few times but still no response. A little impatient, he opened the door and whispered Rei's last name for an answer. Carefully closing the door behind him, Shinji took his shoes off and started approaching Rei's bedroom.

"Ayanami?"

Rei was in school uniform, glancing at her own reflection in the mirror. Now looking at Shinji through it, she gave him small looks of discern.

Shinji with a slight gulp, nervously stated;

"I found this card of yours... and... I was hoping I could give it to you..."

Turning around with an unnerving composure, Rei glanced over Shinji and noticed her NERV ID Card in Shinji's shirt pocket. She immediately reached in and grabbed the card.

"I... I'm sorry..." Shinji said, nervously stumbling back with the touch of Rei's hand just slightly stroking his chest while she took her card.

Rei observed it, and then slowly proceeded to place it onto the top of her drawer next to a pair of glasses. There was a minute of silence between the two as Shinji watched Rei stare at the yellow-framed bifocals.

Shinji trying to break the silence from the two of them, asked;

"Ayanami... how was your training exercise earlier in NERV Headquarters?"

Her back still facing towards him, she answered silently after a long wait;

"Dr. Akagi states that I was substantial."

More silence emerged. Shinji then asked;

"Ayanami... why do you"

Shinji was stopped in his words by Rei's unexpected wordings.

"Ikari, do you hate your father?"

Surprised, Shinji held a stiff composure and said;

"Of course I do... I'll never forgive him for what he did to me... he forced me to become a pilot..."

Turning around to face Shinji;

"But it was your choice."

Shinji angrily clutched his fist and with a solemn yet fearful glare he shouted;

"No, I didn't have a choice! Father gave me no other choice but to be an Eva pilot!"

"Father even said himself that he called me only because I had a use!"

"He's just using me! He uses everyone, haven't you noticed!?"

"He doesn't care if you even die!"

"...And... he would've used you if I didn't... you were seriously injured... I couldn't just let you..."

Rei was startled by Shinji's diminutive hint of compassion towards herself. She blushed a cute pinkish color and tried her hardest not to gather Shinji's notice.

"I... thank you..." Rei whispered, noticeably hesitating in her speech.

"For what, Ayanami?"

"For... caring..."

Shinji almost fell onto his knees in disbelief. To be thanked from a beautiful girl and more interesting from Rei herself, he faintly smiled. The two stared at one another for a just couple of seconds before they peered off into another direction with a bit of discomfiture.

Asuka had crept up behind the door with her ear pressed against it. She overheard most of the conversation and became utterly envious.

She wanted such warmth from someone. She wanted the same compassion and soft affections. She wanted that from Shinji.

In a jealous rage she kicked the door down in a boisterous manner and marched towards Rei and Shinji. Asuka was absolutely still. Anger filled her entire face. Yet even so, you can still notice a slight saddening in her eyes as already tears began to form. With an angry swing of her arms, she yelled;

"Rei, you stupid whore! You strut your slutty looks around Shinji everyday!"

"Don't think that because you're treated special around NERV doesn't mean you can have anything you want!"

"It's not my fault that you're just a lonely little bitch with no personality!"

"You're just a quiet, stupid little doll!"

"Shinji is mine, you hear me!?"

"HE'S MINE! SHINJI IS FIN' MINE!!"

"DON'T TAKE HIM FROM ME!!"

"PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM FROM ME!!"

"DON'T TAKE HIM LIKE KAJI WAS TAKEN FROM ME!!"

"DON'T TAKE HIM LIKE MY MOTHER WAS TAKEN FROM ME!!"

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dekiru...

Ending Notes: Shinji's unusual "collapses into his own thoughts and dreams" of Rei will be further explained in the second chapter.


End file.
